Hola from Paraguay!

After the trip from hell, we've arrived in heaven

adiós, Estados Unidos!

What’s up, y’all!

This newsletter is coming to you live from Paraguay! We finally made it, though the trip was threatened with failure from the beginning to the end. Let me tell you all about it.

The plan was to drive from Louisiana to Miami, then catch a plane to Asunción, Paraguay with a layover in Bogotá, Colombia. Because we were bringing three dogs with us, we had to buy these enormous dog crates that met the standards of the International Air Transport Association (IATA).

Pro Tip for traveling with animals: We got those crates ahead of time and put the dogs in them often, and for hours. That way, when we got to the airport and stuck them in there for what ended up being about 12 hours, they were used to them already. We also stuck in some pillows and blankets that had our scent on them.

Because of the size of these crates, we couldn’t just rent any car to drive to Miami, we needed something big, like a cargo van. So I rented one from Budget, weeks ahead of time.

The Final Countdown

Last week, we got ready to roll. On Monday, we finally received the FBI background checks that we had been waiting for. (And don’t worry, I’ll fill you in soon about all the paperwork requirements for residency, in case you’re interested).

On Tuesday, the movers showed up and took all of our household goods away. On that day, the port strike had begun, so we knew that whatever we put in there, we may not see for months. However, I’ve since learned that the port strike is on hold until January, so if we can find a rental to live in pretty quickly, and get our stuff shipped before then, we should be okay.

On Wednesday, we stored gnob’s truck. Unfortunately, the Snale won’t be coming with us, because you can’t import vehicles older than 10 years into Paraguay, and since it’s a 1989 4Runner, that’s not happening. However, we may be able to drive it down here sometime in the future, but those are plans for another day. Or year.

On Thursday, we got up early and brought the dogs to the vet to receive their paperwork certified by a USDA veterinarian. The paperwork has to be completed within 10 days of the flight, FYI. We didn’t receive the paperwork at that time, but she e-mailed it to me, I printed some copies at a friend’s house in Florida, and we were good to go. The copies were valid everywhere.

The Road Trip Fiasco

After we left the vet’s office, we went to Budget to pick up the van we had reserved. I had a bad feeling when we pulled up and there was no van staged outside. Sure enough, the guy stared at me like a moron, mouth hanging open. He had no idea we were coming, though he was able to pull my reservation right up on the computer. He had no explanation for the fail. And there were no vans to be had anywhere in Louisiana.

I refrained from cursing him out and left.

My heart was sinking. I had already reserved a string of AirBnB’s to get us to Miami, and we were due in Pensacola, Florida that day. But there was an Enterprise right up the street, so we went there and hoped for the best.

They didn’t have anything.

I called the national number, and they told me there was a 4-door pickup in the next town over. Thank goodness. So we drove there.

They didn’t have anything.

I called the national number again, and they told me the NEXT town over had one. I asked him if he was sure, and he said I could call them and check myself. Well, no, I can’t. Calling the local places gets you routed back to the national number.

We didn’t have any choice, though, so we drove on to the next town.

They didn’t have anything, either.

I don’t know if it was the look of desperation on my face that did it, but the manager suddenly said, “You know what, let me make some calls and see what I can do.”

I don’t know what magic he worked, either, but thirty minutes later we had a brand new truck to drive to Miami. Crisis averted. Use Enterprise Mandeville next time you need to rent something.

This put us a couple of hours behind schedule, but we were on the road.

I was going to take pictures of our road trip, but it rained the entire time in not-so-sunny Florida. We did manage to meet up with some of gnob’s friends along the way.

there seems to be a common theme here

The Airport Adventure

I went to the airport early that morning to scout it out - to figure out where we needed to check in the dogs and all that. Our flight was at 5:25pm, and the lady I asked said to be at the counter with bags, dogs, and all at 11am. Seemed kind of early, but they said dogs needed to be inspected so, okay.

We got there, did all the paperwork, and then the lady at the counter (a different one) told me they didn’t need the dogs for inspection until 3pm. Which makes much more sense, but we were already there at that point. She said we could leave the crates there, and take the dogs with us, just to be back at 3pm.

So we went and returned the rental truck - one more shoutout to the manager of the Enterprise Mandeville location for saving the day, and one more raspberry for Budget Hammond - and made our way back into the international terminal, and then found a corner to hang out in for a few hours.

if we had known how wrong it was going to go, we would have been eating right then instead of taking selfies

The dogs were on their best behavior, and after waiting a while, we took them outside one last time, then took them to their crates for 3pm. Then, at 3:30pm I finally got someone to go find out why TSA hadn’t shown up for the inspection yet.

Only minutes later, the weirdest thing happened.

Everyone, and I mean everyone - employees, travelers, security, began walking quickly towards the exits.

You guessed it, the airport got evacuated because some idiot left his bag unattended.

So we sat outside with the dogs on the curb with thousands of other people until nearly 6pm. Finally, they let us back in. To their credit, our airline Avianca made us a top priority and got the TSA agent right to us to get the dogs cleared. Then we ran to the security checkpoint, which was chaos, of course, because everyone was delayed at this point.

We made it to our gate as the attendant was announcing the final boarding call, and finally got out of Miami.

On the plus side, due to the delay, the dogs got to spend three hours less in their crates. And we had a long layover scheduled in Bogotá, so we didn’t miss our connecting flight, though we still had to hustle through security again and then catch a bus to make it to our plane on time.

Arrival in Paraguay

We didn’t get a chance to eat or sleep through all of this, so by the time we landed at 0530 the next morning, we were beat. And then we discovered that the van we rented in Asunción wouldn’t be available until 7am.

We finally got on the road to the AirBNB we reserved for the next couple of weeks, but it was an hour and a half drive through some of the craziest traffic I’ve ever been in!

Seriously, there weren’t many stop signs, people passed us on the shoulder, the roads weren’t all paved. According to gnob, it was glorious! He thinks you don’t need traffic laws if you have common sense, and apparently that’s what the people of Paraguay think, too!

We were so beat at this point, but we were still admiring our new surroundings. Didn’t take many pictures, though gnob pointed out to me nearly every single model of truck that isn’t available in the US. Oh, I did take a picture of a roadside stand we drove past.

We made it to the house where we’re staying (which is in the countryside between Pirayú and Caacupé if you want to look it up on a map) and spent the next two days recuperating. We had to go back into town to buy groceries yesterday, that was an adventure in itself, but I’ve probably gone on long enough for this week.

Here’s where I’m working from for the next couple of weeks:

I’m loving this view

Oh, one other thing. I’m a birder, in case you didn’t know. I’ve already picked up 11 new species since we got here, all in the backyard of this house. Here’s a couple of locals I spotted:

If you’ve ever seen a Northern Cardinal in the United States, you’ll understand why that Red-crested Cardinal blew my mind when I saw it.

Thanks for reading this far! Next week, we’ll start the search for a rental to live in. We ultimately plan to buy or build a house, but we’re going to rent until we’ve explored the area enough to know what we like.

I’ll try to take more pictures, because you just won’t believe how beautiful it is here - it’s spring, everything is blooming and the birds never stop singing. We’re loving it already.